Cognitive Dissonance

Our freedom comes at their expense

Cognitive Dissonance header image

Æsahættr

March 27th, 2012 · No Comments

It would seem that I have neglected my duties. My mind has been so preoccupied with that other place, of flesh and motion, that i’ve been somewhat absent. But I have have returned. I don’t know if this is good or not, time will surely tell.

Looking through the posts here I see history but I do not see me – well, not the me I am now anyway, just a shadow of myself, a crude drawing. I don’t know if I should cop out and clear it up – make a ‘fresh start’; have spring clean (oh, how I hate that term), clear out the old posts and dead links to people who are not here anymore. Or maybe I should leave it as a reminder of when I was less serious, out of control and more inclined to swing from one extreme to the other. Haven’t decided yet.

It’s twenty to two in the morning, the only noises I can hear are the slightly out if sync ticks from the accumulated clocks I have collected, the rhythm of which drives certain house-guests mad but provides me with one of the few constants in my life so far, and the occasionally mewl from the cat as she sleeps on the back of the other sofa and dreams of whatever cats dream of.
I have not been in work since last Thursday, forced to use up the holidays I did not take last year or watch them melt away like a spring frost. Having days off always messes up my routine. I know I should be in bed sleeping (or at least attempting to sleep) but I just don’t feel the urge to, even though my extended weekend in now drawing to a close. There is infinite coffee at work and the team I am running know what they’re doing, so I don’t think I need be in top form tomorrow. Or at least I don’t feel the pressure to be.

Talking of work I realised that I’ve been at my current employer for four and a half years. It certainly feels like just a blink of an eye. But I do worry about it, I see good friends have moved between three or four jobs in that time and I wonder if I’m just a little too comfortable – even though my job these days is completely different to what I did when I first joined, I fear that I’m not stretching myself. My feet are always itchy but I am also a lacking momentum and inertia is something I’m all too familiar with.

I suppose I should make some effort to go to bed and stop being alone out here; it is after all, the sensible thing to do.

→ No CommentsTags: Life

Better

November 16th, 2010 · No Comments

Once again a current favourite song is lacking lyrics on the interwebs. This situation cannot go uncorrected. So here’s the words to Peggy Sue – The Remainder as transcribed by yours truly during one of those lovely nights when insomnia and me are bosom buddies (that would be most nights then).

The rythmn surrounds the room, you’ll be sleeping soon.
The radio plays its tune, you’ll be dreaming.
Take a match to that paper moon and i’ll set it alight,
a bright nightlight for you.

And i’ll hold my body still.
i’ll hold against it’s will,
and i’ll hold my breath unt¨ªl i’m blue and i’m bruised.

You’ll say this mind is ill,
but sleep will come, it will.
First let the truce lay real
and dreams will come back to you.

’cause the rocks the’ve thrown are all laid down
and the backs that turned are all turned back around
and your hands still warm in my own at night
but your body’s cold, won’t you warm it with mine?

And you cut my hair by moonlight
and I held my breath out of fright
as the locks fell loose by your side
and I had nowhere left to hide this pride.

I’ll bend my body ’til it breaks
and i’ll bend these truths to make you space
and i’ll bend my will ’til we find faith.
And I’ll bend, and i’ll break

For You …

And all I’ll bring you is love.

→ No CommentsTags: Music

Broken Wing

April 20th, 2009 · No Comments

Back from Morocco (which was ace btw) and back to putting stuff online. Current favourite song Broken Wing by Leeds based Grammatics appears to be lacking any lyrics on the interweb. I’m pretty sure I can fix that:

Every mistake that you watched me make
I made again.
Sat up wide awake, a coma sounds great
and sit me down.
And if you are unhappy well
you know the worst isn’t here.
You’ll fall into another’s arms
before I reappear here.

Out in the sticks the sun called in sick
for weeks on end.
And there’s passport controls and oceans of road between us now.
Through countryside to the industry
the routine it’s full swing.
I’m taking to the stage tonight
with a broken wing.

Things that I lose are final with me
once I know they’re gone.
Oh, that can’t be you
’cause what we’ve been through
is valuable.

I’m a broken wing
broken wing
broken wing

I’m a broken wing
broken
broken wing

Clear my lungs,
set my breathing right.
The valiant, the blood sport, the bias, the difference.
The codec for love at first sight
kills the money, worries,
sets the bias, the difference.

Clear my lungs,
set my breathing right.
The valiant, the blood sport, the bias, the difference.
The codec for love at first sight
kills the money, worries
sets the bias, the difference.

It’s all that is seen
all that is seen
Broken wing.

Grammatics really are something quite special, the entire album is a wonderfully melancholic piece of beauty. Buy, listen, enjoy, share.

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Slow Motion Tag Team

October 17th, 2008 · No Comments

Seattle based Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head are one of my current favs. Blending just the right amount of insanity and cool to produce an album “Glistening Pleasure” that is just so much fun to listen to.


Tuneage:

Holding Hands In The Shower

L.A. Noir

→ No CommentsTags: Cool · Music

Barging In To The Presence Of God

August 25th, 2008 · No Comments

→ No CommentsTags: 1994

10 Green Bottles

August 19th, 2008 · No Comments

It would seem that muxtape.com has finally succumbed to the might of the RIAA. Shame that, I kinda liked it’s simple, no frills approach.

Oh well, time to find the next interesting thing (or just use last.fm playlists).

→ No CommentsTags: Music · Politics

We walk out like lions, short on prey

August 6th, 2008 · 2 Comments

We got our answerphones on, What are you worried about?
I think I liked you more when you were worse.

How hanging out of the 15th storey window has never felt so relaxing.
Bring out the real fun. Turn on the real drums.

→ 2 CommentsTags: Life · Music

Montreal Might Eat Its Young

July 29th, 2008 · No Comments

July has been filled with so many things. Gigs, Partying, Geekery. At some point I’ll get it all down here (well maybe not all) but until then just make do with this month’s Muxtape which pretty much describes my July in chronological order.

“That was the one.”

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Made Her Smile

July 7th, 2008 · No Comments

Caught Black Kids doing an instore at HMV today totally by accident while trying to get some of this week’s vinyl quota. Pretty good band if you can get past all the hype they’ve been getting, which will probably destroy them. A short set of course but it was most enjoyable despite it interfering with my retail therapy which included a lovely 12″ of insanely good We Are Scientists electro remixes, a Dead Kennedys 7″ and Blank & Jones/Bernard Sumner 7″ (more on these guys in another post i think)

Currently enjoying Frankmusik very much at the moment, cheesy 80’s style electro but I love it. Have a tune :

Frankmusik ¨C Made Her Smile

I know a girl that dressed like you,
She drank too much, Like you do
It made her smile, For a while
But it made her smile, For a while

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FT

July 3rd, 2008 · No Comments

→ No CommentsTags: Life · Music